Be Frank, I Think.

I know i can write some english words even if i'm not good about it. If someone ask me how good you are (about it), .....of course you know the answer. This is my first time doing this besides my homeworks. Just laught if  you found some words or sentences that seems horrible. I'm too lazy to check out all sentences at the google translate, and i want to do some exercise.

It's since long time ago i feel this feeling. And I find the answer just only now. (it's the english right?) i know a little bit my friends's image about me. Sometimes i like the person who careless about everithing including how people regard about my personality or how am i look like (is that wrong?). But i am the one who have some melancholy character. In my mind, it's full of people's mind that i actually never know. For example, I'll be corious if someone look at me with weird eyes. I can thinking of that all the time until i deny it. I can remember all faces that i ever thinking in my mind. Because that character too, i can fall in love so easely up to i can ignored that feeling with ease, i only write that feeling in my book or some medias and throw away , and finally i'm not fall in love with that person anymore.

Some of my 'love stories' have the same arrangement. i look at the one person--i usually like the man who older than me--and then i talked to him until we closed enough to be a friend, then i started to fall in love with him until in the end i found out that he had a girlfriend. And now i don't want too dare to show my feeling and just keep it in my heart.. it's a bit disgusting to talk about love. I better not to fall in love in my age now. Moreover, i prefer someone who seriously about our relationship until we're married, and i'm not ready for that.. haha

My character is really difficult and make me frustrated. Honestly, i have gray in my hair. I bet it because of my melancholy. Too much thinking of someone else. I never say the thing like this, just now when i have the answer of my problem. I just want my problems gone and i try my best to show what the feeling that i've been hiding in my heart and my mind.

This blog is my dump, and many of posts are just trash that i want to throw away.

If my friends read this, please understand me as a good friend and don't make me involved to the problem with myself again. I try to ignore all of that, but in fact its not clear anymore. I just have this blog to make me become frank. i've never told this easely to the real person.. Just understand me and don't mention this suck in real life.. i will crazy again.. I'm beggin' you..

Oh my bad writting..